Back to the morning my water broke. After the nurse pushed me through the hallways of Rex into some kind of room...emergency, labor and delivery, I have no idea where I was other than a hospital room. I remember that I had to pee and I didn't want to because I didn't want the fluid to keep leaking, or worse, a baby to come out. They basically told me go if you gotta go, it's not going to stop. It was miserable and scary to sit on the toilet even if it was only 15 seconds - I was in a hurry to get off of there and lay down somewhere where gravity wasn't working against me to continue to try to control my uncontrollable body.
It wasn't long at all before my doctor met us. Dr. Erin Stone. She's a beautiful fair skinned, red headed doctor with the sweetest demeanor. I always loved seeing her in the office, even though I had only seen her maybe 3 times. She always treated me like I was the only patient that mattered to her, never rushed off or seemed too busy, took time to listen to any concerns I had or answer my questions and seemed genuinely excited for us that we were having twins. I was SO happy to hear that she was the doctor on call. She's no longer at my ob office and I'm really sad about that. Wherever she is, she's a dang good doctor, and has the best bedside manor that you can possible imagine in such a horrific situation. She checked to make sure I wasn't actually about to give birth right there, and I was only a centimeter dilated and I don't even remember how effaced, but that was much more.
Shortly after my mom arrived and my inlaws got there too. Talk about uncomfortable. I mean - you want emotional support in a situation like this, and I couldn't have had more, really (well -- besides my husband actually being in town!). I have the best family ever. But there's my family standing at the end of my bed while I'm trying not to have babies....they kept having to leave the room. My father-in-law asked if he needed to let my husband know that he needed to get home asap and Dr. Stone said absolutely. He left the room while my mom, mother-in-law and sister-in-law stayed close by.
It really is a blur and I can't remember what all they did to me except for a couple of tests and a catheter (and I'm perfectly ok with that NEVER happening again in my life), and an IV. They also started me on magnesium which is supposed to help protect the babies brains should they be born because intraventricular hemorrhaging is one of the many things that preemies this early would potentially face. They didn't give me steroid shots, because I was in the "gray" zone of viability and wanted me to get more information once I was transferred.
Let me tell you what. When you get put on magnesium, it's like all of a sudden your whole body is on fire. It happens fast and last about 30 minutes (if I remember correctly) as they give you a bolus (larger concentration) and then wean it back to whatever is the normal amount. And I felt like I was thinking normal, but I'm pretty sure it makes you think slower. Looking back at the pictures of when I was on that stuff, I looked way worse than I felt mentally. Physically, I felt as bad as I looked! Dr. Stone made a couple of calls to UNC and Duke to find out which one had an open bed space (or two really) in the NICU because IF these babies were coming, they needed to be in a level III NICU, not at Rex where they aren't prepared to take care of 23 weekers. While I was very sad that I wasn't going to be able to stay with Dr. Stone, I was confident that she knew what was best for me and the babies and trusted her judgment.
All of a sudden as I lay there waiting for my first ambulance ride - I had this strange feeling come over me. I looked around the room and said "what was that?" as if someone else did something to me or knew what I was talking about. Wait, "was that a contraction?" Yep. Up until that point, I had never had a contraction, so I had no idea why it just felt like something tightened on my belly when no one was touching me. It didn't hurt, it was just weird. But I didn't want to start having contractions. Contractions were what was going to make me start dilating and I really didn't want to do that.
They had done an ultrasound and said that Baby A's fluid had broken and it looked like he was practicing breathing. Baby B's amniotic sac appeared to be in tact.
Dr. Stone came to me, sat beside me on the bed, held my hands and looked me in the eye and told me that every minute counts. Every hour counts. Twelve more hours counted, twenty four more hours counted. The longer they stayed in, even if it was only a little while, was better than them coming right now. She explained to me that I would get counseling from the neonatologist once I got to UNC and more information on statistics that she didn't have, but assured me that every moment they stayed in my belly was making a difference. She also told me that the chances of going into labor in the next 48 hours were the highest, and if I made it past that point, the chances of staying pregnant longer were better. She gave me a hug and kissed the top of my head and it was time to transfer to the ambulance stretcher.
I hated transferring from one bed to another, something I had to do several times. I didn't want to move!! All I wanted to do is stay still and keep my legs crossed and stay pregnant for as long as I could! I had to ride in the ambulance alone, and my inlaws and Mom all followed each other to UNC. It felt like we were driving pretty fast, and it wasn't too bumpy. I'm pretty sure they all got to UNC before we did somehow.
Thankfully I was now on the way to somewhere that my babies would have a much higher chance of survival should they decide that it was time to come out and meet the world. I didn't know who my doctors would be, but I knew they would be the right doctors. I felt emotionless, numb, and in shock. I kept thinking about those twins that were born at 24 weeks and were ok. There HAD to be a reason God let me know that before today. I'd never in my life heard of babies born that early. But they were ok. The dad told me so himself. That helped me hold it together for the moment...and I prayed...and prayed.
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